Should Surrogacy Agencies be Regulated?

By Maryellen McLaughlin

Here we go again. There’s another story in the news about a surrogacy agency that not only mishandled the intended parents’ money, but their surrogate’s payments, as well.

St. Louis Today discusses the current scandals surrounding surrogacy and a possible push to regulate agencies.

Developing a set of regulations for surrogacy is an idea that must be handled with extreme care by agency owners, fertility experts and lawyers, or those who know how the business works and the ethics that go along with it. Those who have gone through the process may also help provide guidelines.

But involving the federal government would only make the process more difficult. Most lawmakers do not understand our industry, and could take matters too far. If the government were to get involved, everyone’s interests would be better served if the industry first drafted the legislation model – determining its own fate.

We should work hard to ensure that a few bad apples are not damaging our reputation as a whole. Yet, it would be a shame to punish the industry for the greed of a few.

Anyone looking into surrogacy should make sure they do their homework before jumping in. The agency should have a code of ethics, or at least follow guidelines of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Surrogates should be both medically and psychologically screened. Intended parents and surrogates should have separate attorneys, and medical insurance issues should be resolved before any contracts are signed. The agency should also provide names of independent, escrow agents to ensure the money with which the surrogate is paid is safeguarded. Most importantly, always do a background check on the agencies you are working with. If something doesn’t feel right, take the time to find an agency with which you have a higher comfort factor.

Should celebrities come clean on fertility treatments?

By Maryellen McLaughlin

Television personality Joan Lunden recently blogged that she hoped “the media (and the rest of us) will let Sarah Jessica [Parker] and Matthew [Broderick] enjoy this happy time in their lives and stop asking inappropriate personal questions about every detail of how they created their child. If we are raised properly, we know that it wouldn’t be right to ask such questions of a neighbor or an acquaintance, but for some reason the public has come to think it’s OK to demand that celebs reveal every personal detail of their lives.”

I agree with Ms. Lunden that how one brings a child into this world is a very private and personal decision. Yet I also feel that celebrities have an extraordinary opportunity to educate the public on something new and exciting such as surrogacy and egg donation. It also inspires those looking into fertility treatments with a new hope that wasn’t there before, in addition to removing some of the stigma.

When Joan Lunden spoke out about her surrogacy journey a few years ago, I thought it was a terrific move.  It showed the world what a great experience it can be. I only wish more public figures would open up about their egg donation experiences. They have the chance to create positive perceptions about something that has been viewed as fairly negative (or at least something that should be kept quiet) for quite some time. Becoming a parent through egg donation (or surrogacy for that matter) is not something one should be ashamed of. It’s something that should be embraced.

Celebrities have a certain power to inform the public in a way a regular person never could. I hope more of them use that power to speak up about their fertility treatments and outcomes to help those who are in the same situation.

How do you view the way celebrities treat their experiences with assisted reproduction solutions? Share your comments!

One Last Option

By Robin von Halle

One of my Facebook friends recently posted a New York Times article from a year ago, titled Facing Life Without Children When It Isn’t a Choice. It told the story of a couple who unsuccessfully tried to have a family for 11 years using methods ranging from acupuncture and artificial insemination to IVF treatments. They finally decided enough was enough and stopped their efforts – and dreams.

It was heartbreaking, but made me want to inform couples who are at the “How much more can I endure?” stage that there is another option to having their own biological child: gestational surrogacy. This is when an embryo with no genetic ties to the women who is carrying the child is placed into her uterus through in vitro fertilization.

Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband recently shared that they are expecting twins via surrogate. A friend stated that Parker and her husband had been trying for years to add to their family ever since the birth of their son, James Wilkie, now 6. But the road hasn’t been an easy one, and they concluded that this was going to be their best option for expanding their family.

The issue is how long you are willing to stay in the game.

Making the decision to stop all medical procedures to help get pregnant is a painful one. Surrogacy shouldn’t be pushed on anyone who has decided to remain childless. (And for those who have decided to throw in the towel, and need a resource to help them cope, visit www.coming2terms.com, a blog that discusses how to deal with the decision to not have children.)

Ultimately though, we encourage couples to research their options and know that they can have their own biological child if they are willing to look into gestational surrogacy.

We work with many intended parents who come to us as the last resort to have a family. For most, it’s not an easy decision. The surrogacy process can take up to two years and costs between $50,000 and $100,000. However, the outcome – holding your baby for the first time – makes the process worth the time and effort.

Find me on Facebook by joining the group “Alternative Reproductive Resources.”

Taking a Stand for Ethical Donor Agencies

By Robin von Halle

Time magazine recently reported on health concerns such as infertility and cancer surrounding egg donations, tying them to the rise in inquiries by prospective donors in the current economy.

It’s interesting that of all the sources quoted, there was not one comment by the agencies that recruit and work with the donors. In fact, our agency and many others we know are far more than just “recruiters.” We take our advocacy role for donors and surrogates very seriously.

The article was one-sided, leaving the impression that all egg donor agencies are guilty of lax, if not unethical practices. It negates the very important role that many of us play.

At Alternative Reproductive Resources (ARR), each donor is educated on the risks involved to egg donation, such as hyper stimulation, the most common side effect after retrieval. We make sure each donor is aware of what can possibly happen with their bodies as a result of the donation process. We require them to undergo psychological screenings to make sure they are emotionally fit to donate. We also maintain contact after egg retrieval and at least one more time after she menstruates. (And sometimes we even share our cell numbers.)

We understand that many of these young women looking into egg donation are motivated by the compensation, but that should never override good sense. Here are a few questions they should ask their agency upfront in the interests of ensuring informed consent.

• What are the health risks, specifically and statistically?
• How many donation cycles do you allow?
• What’s your level of experience, based on total donor cycles completed?
• Do you provide qualified legal representation for donors?
• Do you provide insurance in the event of medical complications?
• What does your donor screening process entail?
• Can I talk to your current and past egg donors?

As the fertility industry grows, it’s up to us to make sure we’re meeting the highest standards of practices and behaviors, and follow guidelines established by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. ARR developed a code of ethics to help protect our donors, surrogates and intended parents through this process.   However, donors must remember that it’s their bodies and no one is as deeply vested in their health as they are.

Just one of the reasons I like my job…

By Mary Ellen McLaughlin

One reason my job is so rewarding is that I get to help create families every day. It warms my heart to see proud new parents, otherwise unable to conceive, holding a smiling baby after working with our team.

I’ve often heard us called “the middlemen” between parents and the egg donors and/or surrogates. That term doesn’t reflect the complexity of this process, which can be extremely stressful, both physically and emotionally. I’ve seen first-hand how much it helps to have an experienced third party guide parents, egg donors and surrogates through the process and provide a shoulder to lean on.

I recently received a letter from a surrogate-to-be telling me how happy and relieved she was that her experience with ARR was a comfortable one. I was incredibly touched, since we don’t often get direct thank you’s from surrogates, and it was a nice reminder of how much my actions impact a whole family.

So I thought I’d share some of the client’s words.

“I wasn’t sure how all of this was going to pan out or who I would be able to go to with questions. You have made me feel like I’m not just a person whose paperwork needs to be dealt with, which was what I was expecting. If the rest of my experience is as good as it has been to this point, it will have far exceeded my expectations.”

Her words reaffirm what we all do to help build families at ARR.  We pride ourselves in keeping all parties well-informed and content. Everyone going through this experience deserves and should expect the same treatment.