By Felix Ramos

My wife is the most amazing person I know.

When her brother and his wife discovered they could not carry a child on their own (they went through IVF twice), my wife offered to bear one for them herself as their surrogate. But the money was gone.

This devastated my wife, but she had another idea. She would be a surrogate for another couple and give the compensation to her brother so they could try again. Even though they decided against trying again, that didn’t stop my wife. She still wanted to help, and as a gestational surrogate she helped a wonderful couple become parents to twin boys four years ago.

Our lives did not stand still just because my wife was a gestational surrogate. The most intimidating part of the process is the fertility treatments (I had to give her the shots). Life went on as usual. We even took a family vacation. We are the parents of four, so I know what to expect when it comes to families with an expectant mother in the house.

Many of my friends and family, including my father, thought I was crazy for “letting” my wife make such a decision. I had to explain to them that we made the decision together. Once they heard the story behind it, they all were very supportive and understanding.

So if your wife is thinking of being a gestational surrogate, my best advice is to keep an open mind and be her number one supporter throughout the process. Many couples are desperately seeking ways to create a family. Even through I played a small part in the process, helping create a family was one of the best experiences of my life.

How do other husbands feel about their wives being a gestational surrogate?  What was your experience like? Share your comments.

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