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By Kathleen

I was married for the first time at an age when most of my peers’ kids were starting high school. We were used to living alone, so there was a period of marital adjustment before we decided to have children.

When we started our IVF journey, we both felt hopeful and were filled with dreams raising a family. However, after a few months, we started to realize that this wasn’t going to be as easy as we thought. This was the beginning of a five-year adventure in the conception jungle.

We went through four IVF cycles before seeking help from ARR. By then, we had weighed our options and I had come to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t be passing along my DNA, so off to ARR we went in hopes of finding an egg donor. They were immediately helpful and got us through the whole process with ease and compassion. I still remember getting our first folders with the donor information. It was strange and exciting all at once. My husband and I gravitated toward the donor we thought would be best. She even looked a little like me. The whole process was surprisingly quick and comfortable for us.

We went through two donor cycles before realizing that it just wasn’t meant to be. Apparently I have a uterus the size of a Cheerio and a dumbbell-shaped cervix. The whole journey has been like a street in San Francisco, filled with ups and downs but without Karl Malden and Michael Douglas. (Good grief! Am I dating myself here? I happen to be a very youthful mumbldymumbldy years old!) We have two embryos left and will be talking with ARR about a surrogate for what will probably be our final attempt at having children.

Being an actor/improviser and married to someone who has a great sense of humor has enabled both of us to see a funny side to the fertility process, something that has been very healing. I want to share that healing laughter with Conception Connections readers by asking you to share your stories. I am creating a show about my fertility experiences with the hope that I can help others see the funny side of their own journey. Please share with me at and get all of the details about this project. Have questions? E-mail me at

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About Us

Conception Connections is a blog about alternative paths to family creation. It is maintained by Alternative Reproductive Resources. Contributors include intended parents, egg donors and gestational surrogates in addition to ARR staff. Our goal is to facilitate conversations about trends, issues, current events, technology and personal stories surrounding infertility, egg donation and gestational surrogacy. If you'd like to contribute, please e-mail We also welcome your comments and suggestions. Note: Comments are moderated and posted on approval.


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