By Robin von Halle

One of my Facebook friends recently posted a New York Times article from a year ago, titled Facing Life Without Children When It Isn’t a Choice. It told the story of a couple who unsuccessfully tried to have a family for 11 years using methods ranging from acupuncture and artificial insemination to IVF treatments. They finally decided enough was enough and stopped their efforts – and dreams.

It was heartbreaking, but made me want to inform couples who are at the “How much more can I endure?” stage that there is another option to having their own biological child: gestational surrogacy. This is when an embryo with no genetic ties to the women who is carrying the child is placed into her uterus through in vitro fertilization.

Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband recently shared that they are expecting twins via surrogate. A friend stated that Parker and her husband had been trying for years to add to their family ever since the birth of their son, James Wilkie, now 6. But the road hasn’t been an easy one, and they concluded that this was going to be their best option for expanding their family.

The issue is how long you are willing to stay in the game.

Making the decision to stop all medical procedures to help get pregnant is a painful one. Surrogacy shouldn’t be pushed on anyone who has decided to remain childless. (And for those who have decided to throw in the towel, and need a resource to help them cope, visit www.coming2terms.com, a blog that discusses how to deal with the decision to not have children.)

Ultimately though, we encourage couples to research their options and know that they can have their own biological child if they are willing to look into gestational surrogacy.

We work with many intended parents who come to us as the last resort to have a family. For most, it’s not an easy decision. The surrogacy process can take up to two years and costs between $50,000 and $100,000. However, the outcome – holding your baby for the first time – makes the process worth the time and effort.

Find me on Facebook by joining the group “Alternative Reproductive Resources.”

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